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Nicely written article with some great points. I try to mix it up big time with my daughter’s books. The Paperbag Princess, Princess Smarty Pants, The King’s Equal and Just Grace are a few that come to mind immediately. But we also read Pinkalicious………….I try to stay away from the canned pretty books as much as I can. It is an interesting tension and one of the reasons we do not own a TV. There is enough out there that is too focused on the pretty. One of the other commenters mentioned about loving her daughter’s unique outfits. I support my daughter’s individuality with that too. Trying for the strong individual with her own chutzpa.
The problem I see with the angle of view about the subject in this post is the narrow definition of beauty. Biologically, a female or a male is considered valuable based on her or his merits to create offspring with higher chance of survival. So, if people believe that a skinny, symmetrical looking girl has a higher chance of producing a child who would have a higher chance of attracting the opposite sex, then there is nothing wrong with the common desire for the appearance and looks. Even animals of different species practice that approach, the bird with bigger feathers, or the lion with a bigger mane is more in demand than the rest. But what we are over looking is that we are human and basis instincts are not suppose to be the first priority. But, characters such as Kardashians, Beyounce, and any other talent-less beauty queen who defines success based on granted merits rather than earned ones, are the reason that we, as the most intelligent species, still practice instinct driven lives like the rest of animal kingdom and not as intelligent ones
Why Are There Still So Few Women in Science? - The …
The mistake you are making is to enforce the idea of being physically beautiful is important. The emphasis on physical beauty either it is true or it is from a kind heart in order to be nice is what causes the problem. I have a 3 year old daughter, and even though she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in life (of course to my eyes), I refuse to say to her that she is pretty, but I always tell her that she is funny, or smart, clever, or genius. So, few weeks ago she asked me if she was pretty enough to be a princes, since her cousin is told by her parents that she is a pretty princess, and to be pretty is a requirement to be a princess. So since she never heard that compliment from her parents, she was questioning the reason. So, I took her to the zoo. I showed her the peacock, and the some other female animals, and I asked her if she think they are pretty, and she said yes, and I asked her if she thinks they are clever, and she said no. So there it was, the answer to the question. So dear Perno, next time you see you nieces, compliment them on their wits and character rather than their prettiness.
I agree completely. The problem with beauty is that though there is no way to measure it, and its parameters are not defined, it is still used to categorize women. I am a Christian, and I want my daughter to grow up seeing all of God’s creation as beautiful…made in his image, special to him. Even if I wasn’t a Christian. I would want my daughter to see people uniquely beautiful… to know that the definition of beauty has changed so much over time that it can’t be trusted. We have to use our hearts to find the beauty in everyone… and to know that she is beautiful, no matter what she look like.
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Thank you so much for writing this! I am a seventeen year old girl who is constantly plagued by the fact that looks tend to fall in a higher priority to teenage (and sadly younger) girls than does intelligence or personal accomplishments. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve struggled with adults when I was seven, let alone teenaged, as I tried to insert my opinion on the world or nearly force them to ask me what I was reading. So thank you for giving me a bit of hope that women who still believe in the power of females still exsist out there! I work with younger children on occassion and I always try to ask these questions because really, male or female, physical attractiveness needs to diminish as a factor of value.
First, I am totally there with you on the general slant of your topic, and bravo for the beautiful point by point story. I also strive to go with acknowledgement of who someone is (children and adults) rather than looks. And I get how hard that is sometimes! however, I wanted to remark on the above line: what about–A life of meaning, a life of ideas, presence, and being valued. Period. Not for anything, simply because we are? for our unique gifts we give to the world, no matter what they are–reading books is just one thing, valuable (I’m one of them, trust me–and this culture has really rewarded me for such things).
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What Does It Mean When We Call Women Girls? | …
just read your article & i have been doing this (unintentionally) for years…as i am sooooo big on children (any age) knowing how to communicate & not giving direct questions for yes/no answers but for them to keep up a conversation & knowing that there are different opinions on topics that are neither wrong or right. thankyou
Boys vs. Girls Essay - 767 Words - StudyMode
I appreciated your article and wholeheartedly agree. Here is where I struggle and why I intentionally point out ALL traits I see in the young girls (and young boys) I work with as a school counselor…no one, not even my parents, said that I was pretty. My mother always said “pretty is as pretty does” and then she never complimented me…so I felt I never did anything right either. I didn’t feel exceptionally smart or talented, just good at doing the laundry. Now as an adult woman I struggle with self esteem, facial and body image. I truly believe if just one significant person in my life had told me I was beautiful I wouldn’t seek it in unhealthy ways. I tell students they are dressed nicely for school, I get excited when I hear them reading, I point out how glad I am to see them because they make me smile and I do all of this to fat, skinny, homely, beautiful, intelligent, special ed and struggling students. I believe EACH child is beautiful and they need to know it… not the beauty that the world holds but the beauty that they each hold. We can always find ONE good thing about a kid and make sure to tell them out loud, so others hear it! I also believe modeling appropriate work attire, coming to work with my hair done and ready to hit the ground running are good examples to students. There are days I wear no makeup and no jewelry…kids see me as less put together these days. I just tell them that I wanted to look more simple today but I’m still here to work for them…they accept that. The messages that we give children are so powerful and we are powerful force for good when we empower them to see the beauty inside of themselves and not look for approval from the world. I wish someone had done that for me!
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A wonderful, simple plan for instilling confidence in a way that emphasizes important academic qualities and encourages further exploration of same I think there are some engrained behaviors that are intrinsic to gender, but that the cultural aspect of their learning often leads to a majority of the differences we observe in our young adults. By creating young girls who have self esteem that is not directly proportional to how they feel they look, we can overcome many of the negative interactions with boys and other similar women that leada to abuse of women on many levels. Academic, economic, sexual, and even in sports. I can only hope my 3 year old daughter is the beneficiary of the results of such practices.
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Yet are we merely cerebral creatures? Or are we both physical and mental beings? Both our physically and mental person serve it’s own unique function and have there own unique influence. So why not appreciate the whole person? Appreciate them with both demonstrations of passion and intellectual curiosity?
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